Some comments on Laylah, my ex-wife, which could interest readers... The Italian spelling of her nickname is/was "Lela", although the "e" is pronounced more like "ay", as is typical of Italian. She did waver between having or omitting the final "h" in "Laylah", though in the end she preferred to have it, a la Aleister Crowley, rather than to omit it, a la Eric Clapton... in her first post, though, she did do without the final "h", and also wavered between "Layla" (in the header) and "Leyla" (at the end). ["Ulla", in the signature, is another thing altogether -- a slavename of my choosing which she used only in special occasions and was quite partial to; "Laylah" was ``herself'', while "Ulla" was a ``persona'', if you catch my drift]. An important note about everything she ever posted is that, with the single exception of "the last winter", which was fiction, it was all from real life -- the way SHE honestly and truly perceived it, that is. Her perception WAS magical in many ways, of course, and it changed reality as we lived it as much as it pervaded her posts -- those who have met her in person can testify to that. Some details are, however, systematically slanted in her perception versus "social consensus reality". This applies to much she says about ME -- in HER world, I always was a sort of personified perfection; discount appropriately. It also applies to how she often describes some experience as "the first", "the heaviest", "the best ever", and so on -- such superlatives did not necessarily apply ``objectively''. For example, the knifeplay she describes in her first post was NOT our first, or even our heaviest thus far. Yet, she honestly *perceived* it as a new, first, heaviest, UNIQUE experience -- and described it as such. What can I say...? This ability to see things with fresh, unjaded eyes, LIVING them as really new, unique, special, _each and every time_, was perhaps the greatest blessing of my thrice blessed Laylah. "Zen mind, beginner's mind"... "if you are not like unto these children, you shall not enter the Kingdom of Heavens"... that Kingdom was were she dwelled, and by her magic made me dwell, too, throughout these many, wonderful years. "This world, exactly as it is, IS the Pure Earth" -- all it takes is the right children's eyes to perceive it. Laylah had them -- the right eyes. Or rather, perhaps, the right heart. "One only sees well with one's heart -- what is essential is invisible to the eyes". She saw exceedingly well. More about "the magic of august" -- it was her first post ever to alt.sex.bondage, or any other international group for that matter. It was written and posted, I believe, on or about August 13, 1992. Before that, her only netting experience had been a modest appearance on local BBS's, mostly with the pseudonym of "Ayla the Huntress" (from a series of books she really loved, about a fictionalized pre-history). Her English, I must admit, was not really perfect. Funny to think that her *job* was, and is, as an English teacher...! Actually, she got almost zero feedback from her delurk -- no followups, and just one short e-mail letter of appreciation from somebody who didn't post either. That rather depressed her, so much that her first post was really on the verge of being her last one as well. Oh, and just one punctual observation about that post...: >of the blood flowing; my flesh yearns for the blade as a virgin >for her bride... I don't think THIS one was an usage error, actually, but rather a subtle smiling reference to woman-woman love. For all that sometimes she almost seemed to _ooze_ het energy, I've always been convinced that this is not really where my beloved one was coming from... that her bisexuality ran as deep and as "asymmetrically skewed" in its own way as mine. I have never seen her look with lust at another man who was a stranger; I _have_ seen her so look at women who were strangers. Alex -- ____ Alex Martelli, Bologna, Italia \SM/___ \/\bi/ Our wars are wars of life, & wounds of love \/ With intellectual spears, & long winged arrows of thought.