~Subject: piercings: a conversation with my daughter ~Date: 14 Nov 92 06:25:12 GMT "Mamma, mamma!" called my 8-years old daughter yesterday. "Yes, Flavia darling?" I answered. "I want to have my ears pierced." I almost collapsed on the floor. :-) "But it's just wonderful, dear! Why have you decided so suddenly? Are you sure?" My heart was beating fast, joy and worry mingling together. "I'm very sure, mamma. I like so much your ears full of earrings! But, well... Does it hurt *a lot* ? I want to know." I took the hand of my daughter into mine. "Darling, it hurts a little, but not too much. Do you remember my last ear-piercing?" "Yes, and it *was* very painful..." My love for Flavia was bright as light in a summer day. I told her: "Sweety, I suffered a lot because my cartilage was pierced. In your case the holes will be in your lobes. Here - I pointed at my lobe - Do you understand? It will be definitely less painful. " At this point my daughter breathed more easily. Then she continued: "Mamma, I think now I understand why you want your nipple pierced. But I don't understand other things... between you and daddy... you are so strange sometimes..." I swallowed, and I silently prayed the Goddess to inspire in me a suitable answer. "Darling, in which sense we are strange? Have we done something, or have you seen something, that have shocked you?" My God, is it possible my girl had found the place of our toys? "No, mamma, no! I can't explain... It's that I *feel* in you something different from the other parents. I don't know what is that, anyway." I caressed her, and immediately answered: "It's love, dear. We love you and your brother more, a lot more than the average parent." Flavia embraced me. Poor little thing, *almost* 8 years old in fact, and with so many difficult questions in her mind! "Mamma, I don't understand many things, but I *do* understand that you and dad love each other a lot, a lot, a lot... - she opened her arms - more than the whole universe..." She kissed me, twice. "Mamma - she asked me - can I see your tiger? I like it so much. Please, mamma..." I was at an impasse. If I denude my breast, Flavia will see all my bruises and marks. On the other hand, if I don't let her see my tattoo she'll surely know I hide something. I decided for the first possibility. I uncovered my breast. "My beautiful, beautiful tiger!" exclaimed my girl, caressing my tattoo with adoring eyes... Then: "Mamma, what are these red and blue signs?" I didn't know if to weep or to laugh, or, perhaps, both these things together! :-) :-( "Really, I don't know what to say, darling... perhaps I stumbled against some piece of furniture..." A terrible ugly answer! Anyway, when all seemed lost, the miracle happened. "Oh, yes, mamma, me too! Often I stumble somewhere...Look at these ones" Flavia answered, pointing to a badly bruised leg, HERS. My heart increased again its beating. "But you must pay attention, honey." I looked my daughter deeply, my eyes into her eyes. Her was the most innocent glance of the world. I remember my early penances and my first, shy childhood experiments. I silently spoke with myself: if she is different from me, it's better I remain silent; if she is like me, she needs her privacy *now*. I must not intrude, not *now*. I could spoil something. But, I AM a mother. I resisted the intense impulse to ask: "Did you make these bruises by yourself?" I kissed her, instead, and almost immediately, she went to our sitting room, put on a video tape of "Excalibur", one of her favourite movies (with Alice and Mary Poppins being the others), and began to look at it. After about ten minutes I went close to her. "Darling - I asked - do you like to speak a little more? There is anything else do you want to say to me?" She remained silent for a few seconds, immersed in her thoughts. Then she said: "I would like to have my ears pierced when you do your nipple." Believe me, I almost wept of joy... :-) "Why, Flavia?" I almost sobbed. "But because together is so romantic, mamma, don't you see?" "Then before the Solstice, dear." I answered. "Before what?" I swallowed. "The Solstice is when the Sun..." She interrupted me. "All right, all right, mamma. Before Christmas... Now let me watch Excalibur, please!" I went to our kitchen, shaken and moved. I brewed a strong, parfumed tea, with all my normal ritual: real leaves, a hot teapot, only a small quantity of lemon. The fragrance was just traveling in the warm air of our house that Flavia: "Tea also for me, mamma. I want to drink with you." she cried from the sitting room. I smiled at myself: "When you are older I'll make you read Heinlein, darling..." And I finished preparing our drink. Bright blessings to all, Laylah -- Immensity so vast my thought is drowned // and sweet it is to sink into this sea Laylah Martelli (lela@am.sublink.org; or, wi.5292@n7kbt.rain.com)