>> "The two would never have been in a relationship without the s&m." <<

In response to the above comment, Mentor says:

>>> Then _you_ are saying that without the S&M there would have been _no_ relationship between them? I could believe that for a casual playmeeting, but I find it difficult to believe that S&M alone could so solidly cement a relationshop that it would last for any significant time. What a shallow life you propose for both of them. <<<

I have got to say something about this.

I think this remark has probably already been responded to by the major players in this thread, but I just wanted to say how it struck me personally. I was shocked, stunned almost. I feel exactly the opposite.

Without the S&M I wouldn't have been involved in a relationship with my master, no matter how marvelous a person I might have thought him. Getting into a relationship without S&M would, for me, be a severe betrayal of self: a denial of everything that's really important. The only life I can conceive of living in a relationship without S&M would be an extremely superficial, shallow, and dishonest one in which the wellspring of my life was carefully shunted aside due to a sense of obligation to a non-S&M partner. While I might start out loving and admiring such a person, in a few years I believe the resentment I'd feel at having to kill or supress such an important aspect of myself would curdle into hate.

Because I like myself and respect other potential partners too much to allow such a scenario to come to pass, I can most definitely say that after the point in my life when I became aware of what I was, without the S&M there would have been no relationship between myself and anyone else, including the wonderful man who is my master. All the rest, all the intelligence, empathy, consideration, love, fellow-feeling would not have been enough. On the other hand, I could see doing the vanilla "thang" for a casual playmeeting, especially with a woman. Vanilla doesn't do much for me heterosexually, but once in a blue moon I really get a yen for good wholesome lesbian sex. (You hear that Donald? Can I have a lesbian, can I, huh? Can I? Can I?)