>>> Any suggestions for physical humiliation? <<<

Hi Angel,

By the time you read this you should have seen some of my other posts on humiliation. As you can probably guess, I wallow in the physical humiliation stuff, and so will attempt to address your question in just a moment. Unlike you, I don't much go for verbal humiliation (or VA, which is what I call it). I mean I love the milder stuff, being called slut or other sexually vulgar names, but I don't like anything that smacks of being told how worthless I am, or how my top despises me, etc. Just can't take it. Luckily for me, VA isn't one of my top's favorite activities, either.

You know, I also don't cry during scenes. I scream so much that I can barely talk above a whisper the next day, but cry? What's the point? I'm being tortured and it hurts and it makes me hot but there's nothing going on that's hurting my feelings. Crying just doen't seem like a natural response to physical pain that stays below a certain sane threshold and which doesn't endure for hours or days at a time. If someone were crushing my bones with a sledgehammer, or if gasoline had been poured on me and then set alight, or if I had a horrible cancer, the pain of which went on endlessly, I might cry, but in each of those cases the crying would be partially related to the horrible damage being done or to the extremeness of the sensation, or to the fact that I knew the pain was neverending--in other words, I would be feeling sorry for myself, an emotion I seldom feel within a scene.

In a scene, pain can be very intense, but the fact that it usually lasts a short time or is repeatedly broken up with short breaks of non-pain (whether it be those merciful split seconds between croppings or the longer break that a compassionate dom will give you after a severe thrashing to allow you to catch your breath) keeps the pain at a level that is way below my crying threshold. If physical pain were still associated with emotional trauma for me, then I would certainly cry during a beating, but that hasn't been true for a very long time. It's funny though, I would probably respond to the lightest little bit of sincere VA with intense sobbing. It really flips me out.

Anyway, your question about suggestions for physical humiliation for you is impossible to answer with any accuracy, given the fact that humiliation is different for each person. Although you have stated some of the things that do not embarrass you, I cannot guess from that what sorts of things _would_ embarrass you. However, in the interest of science (heh!), I can suggest some general areas known to humiliate some of the subs some of the time, which you and your dom might wish to explore. I once knew a sub man who liked to boast that nothing, absolutely nothing, humiliated him. A group of us offered him suggestions, dozens of them, all of which he replied to that no, doing X would not humiliate or embarrass him. It took a very devious and creative mistress who knew his psychological ins and outs much better than any of us could to come up with a couple of things which, while not embarrassing to the majority of submissives, were particularly embarrassing to him, given his history, background, life experiencs, cutural type, etc. In other words, humiliation is a highly personal thing. But anyway, in the interest of science (as I said--g) here are my suggestions for general areas of physical humiliation.

1. You say that going around outdoors without your underwear doesn't phase you. Fine. Go around in a short dress wearing a pair of see-through panties or a pair of children's panties that are too small for you and either ride up in your crack or expose the top of the split, because they can't be pulled up far enough. Little-girl panties are also nice because they often have such embarrassing patterns on them: little unicorns with stars or teddy bears or barneys or ones that say "I love you daddy" all over them. Maybe the panties should be men's jockey shorts...or plastic pants over bulky diapers. Panties that are faded, stained with age, and that have holes in them, or in which the fabric is coming loose from the elastic bands are also nice. The point is that the panties, whatever form they take, need to be ones that you don't consider to be beautiful or to show off your physical assets in a sensuous, dignified manner. They need to be ones you would be ashamed, or perhaps mortified (I love that word--g) to be seen in during a visit to the doctor or in the health-club locker room. No Victoria's Secret specials here. The panties that work best for me are either (a) plain white virginal cotten briefs, like Jockeys, but high-waisted and no french cut or (b) those panties with the ruffles running across the backs that little girls wore in the '50s and that cross-dressed French maids wear in the '90s.

So, once you've got the perfect pair of panties picked out, maybe your top can take you to a large grocery store and order you to bend over and get something from the bottom shelf. Once you are bent, he should order you to "freeze" and you must stay in that position, with your panties exposed until he lets you stand back up. Naturally, he should wait to do this until at least one person has come down the aisle and gotten a good gander. You can do this outdoors, too: he should have you pick a wildflower growing close to the ground...or pick up a piece of litter.

2. Many people find their eliminatory processes embarrassing. In ascending order of intensity: upon command, squat over a bucket in front of your dom and pee into it while he watches closely. Do the same thing in front of a group of his close S&M associates. Now do it at a public play party in front of a crowded room of strangers. Next, it's #2: no bucket for that, a newspaper is more humiliating (unless, of course, he's administered an enema. Then a bucket is probably a good idea for mess control.) Have your dom give you something to loosen your bowels, if you're having trouble relaxing enough to do this in front of him. Perhaps a suppository would work, or perhaps he could just order you not to eliminate for a couple of days and then make you drink prune juice. While squatting on the floor is easier on you, squatting over a newspaper spread on a table will give your audience a better view. Again, to intensify the experience, do it in front of a group.

3. While you may very well be proud of your body overall and exhibitionistic to boot, almost everybody has some area of their anatomy that they feel just a little bit uncomfortable about. I don't know what those areas might be for you, but I bet your dominant might have an idea. Those are the areas he should focus on and expose to other people, all the while talking about them in loving, excruciating detail. For me, such areas include (a) the fact that although I am a uniform olive tone on most parts of my body, the area between my legs and buttocks is a dusky dark-brown, much darker than the rest of my skin--this weird coloration is very embarrassing to me, because it makes me think of monkeys and apes whose genital areas are often a radically different color than the rest of them; (b) because I am whipped and paddled daily I often get pimples or rashes or raised bumps on my bottom. My master loves to point these out to me, pinching them and telling me how cute they are; (c) I have one labial lip that's noticably larger and longer than the other one--Donald gives it a lot of unnecessary attention, scolds me for being a mutant down there, threatens to put a button on it so he can button me closed, etc.; and finally, (d) while I am very much a normal weight (not fat nor thin), I get very very puffy just before my period. My master loves to point out this puffiness to me: how round my face has become, how much more my buttocks jiggle when he spanks them, my protruding little pot belly. If simply exposing your body doesn't embarrass you, maybe having these kinds of things pointed out would.

3. Some subs aren't ashamed of exposing their bodies in public until they are forced to assume embarrassing or awkward positions, or perform humiliating actions while naked. I believe it was Mr. Jacobs who described that age-old S&M party game of push the peanut. It's more effective than you might imagine. Many S&M fetish outfits or forms of rope bondage make body parts like breasts look bizarre and obscene: I have a leather slave harness with small rings on its chest. My master forces me to push my B-cup breasts through these rings ...and they fit about half way. But the rings make the parts that stick through them look distorted--like balloons squeezed out of shape and just about to pop. What if you were ordered by your dominant to walk around nude at a play party with your hands constantly spreading your pussy lips or your buttocks for everyone's viewing pleasure? You may occasionally get a break to rest your arms, but you'd still spend the whole night doing that, even in the social rooms. Think of the comments you might get. There's nothing that elegant or beautiful about the effect--but it's very exposing, and humiliating for lots of people. Having to walk around at a public party bent forward at an angle with your back arched and legs spread wide so that you waddle from side to side can be humiliating for some folks. Then there's Donald's favorite: scampering! The slave is told to stand at attention, a position similar to what the soldiers do when the sergeant says, "TEN-SHUN!" Stiff and straight. Arms stiff at the sides. Head up, eyes staring directly forward. Buttocks and tummy pulled in. Chest out. Every muscle in the body tense and tight. Then, while holding that position, you must shuffle in little tiny steps, forward across the room, keeping your legs straight, your ankles together, and moving your feet mere inches at a time. Advanced scampering involves the basic movement plus moving your straight-as-boards arms forward and backward in time to your shuffling, but keeping them closely pinned against your sides. Real advanced scampering involves doing a little half jump every five or six shuffle-paces. You have no idea of how ridiculous this looks until you've seen it in action--it's bound to be a hit at a party, and in fact, if there are multiple subs at the play party you can have scampering races--with the winner (the _slowest_ scamperer, that is) gettng an extra special reward!

4. Gosh, what else is humiliating? I got into clothing a little bit with the panties stuff, but you can also be forced to go out in public wearing outer garments that are intrinsically humiliating to you. Again, this varies from sub to sub, but your dominant might want to try little girls' clothing that is too small and too tight for you--include something see-through in the outfit so that everybody can see that the little girl has big developed titties or a fully developed womanly cunt (the contrast between looking like a little girl and NOT looking like a little girl is a killer for some female subs), being cross-dressed as a boy or man, wearing a prostitute's garb and having to walk and act like a common street whore, wearing a very short skirt, no pantyhose, and buttocks and upper thighs that have been striped and reddened by your master, wearing a sign painted on your panties that says "spankings...5 cents" and then being forced to bend over on a busy street and freeze. Uh let's see...instead of an elegant collar that accents your beauty, being forced to wear some sort of crude animal collar that is either too big or very obviously something a doggie would wear. A dominant man I once knew made every new female sub that he took on cut her hair to within an inch of her scalp. This hairstyle is extremely embarrassing to some women and, as many women are very proud/possessive of their locks, also an intense display of submission to the dominant. Your top could make you wear clothes that are obviously ugly or out of fashion, like polyester pantsuits or some kinds of ugly Sixties-style dresses, but which at the same time fit improperly and expose you in some way. If you always wear makeup, being forced to go out in public without it can be humiliating, and conversely, if you never wear makeup, being forced to glop it on so that you look like a sleazy tawdry tramp can have the same effect.

5. For a public play party, your dominant could have you do a little performance: either recite a little poem while in a humiliating position or perform a little dance, but again, nothing dignified, nothing that will awe people or cause them to admire your graceful sillouhette or lovely voice, nothing sensuous or mysteriously sexy--the idea is to experience the awkwardness, the embarrassment, the humiliation or degradation and revel in the helplessness and loss of power this all brings. For starters, choose something relatively simple. For instance, have the sub sing and act out: "I'm a little teapot, short and stout." If you do this, make sure that the handle and the spout are interesting areas of the anatomy or items that can be inserted into interesting areas of the anatomy.

6. Many people find having their sexual arousal exposed in front of others intrinsically humiliating. Your master could do those things to you that make you very excited, then exhibit your wetness to the viewing audience: "Look at this, everybody, isn't this disgusting? Look at how wet she is, look at how her pussy shines! Why, there's even some dripping down her leg! He could stick his finger in you to prove his point, and then wipe the juices off on your face, or have you suck them off. If you are wearing panties, he could take them off once they're soaked, stuff them in your mouth and then tape it closed. Having to masturbate in front of a group can be very humiliating for the right person. It's more effective if your dominant makes you stop just before you're about to come a number of times. Each time he makes you stop, he can point out to the audience, either physically or verbally, how the increasing wetness of your pussy proves what a little slut you are. When you're so frustrated and horny fron this that you can't stand it and will do almost anything to be allowed release, he should have you masturbate to orgasm in an embarrassing way, perhaps on all fours, with your nose on the ground, and waggling your bottom the entire time.

7. Some people go into deep states of humiliation during depersonalization scenes, when they're forced to behave like an animal or a piece of furniture. Ponygirl can be fun. So can doggie. I'm often my master's footstool during the football season. He loves to sit back in his large comfortable chair, cigar in hand, yelling at the teams, and sticking his toes into my bottom crack. Sometims he'll do a hot ash scene with me in that position as well. Coat rack is fun. Christmas tree is fun. Writing desk is fun. Sometimes I'm simply required to be on all fours by him at the dinner table while he uses my flesh as his napkin.

8. One nice way to get into humiliation is to combine it with something you already do that you like, such as pain. Humiliation and pain are a heady mixture . Donald likes to play a game with me that we call "Panties up, Panties down." In this game, I wear an embarrassing pair of panties and nothing else. He sits in a comfortable chair or on the couch, and I stand at attention before him with my back to him. When he gives the command, "Panties Down!" I have to bend over and pull my panties down to my ankles and then straighten up--all as quickly as possible. Donald has a crop, cane, or buggy whip in hand, and from the moment I begin bending to the moment I stand back up erect, he is allowed to crop me. When he orders, "Panties Up!" I have to bend over and pull the panties back up and stand once more at attention. The same cropping rule applies and I have to be careful to get the panties nice and straight--no uneven waistline or riding up allowed. Because of the speed at which I am encouraged to perform this action, there is almost always some after-the-fact adjusting that needs to be done, and while it's going on, I get extra punishment strokes. Once I am standing up straight and the panties are correctly adjusted, the cropping stops, till the next order of "Panties Down!" Donald likes to do this game in rounds, where he competes with himself. During round one, his only goal is to hit me once while the panties are on the way down, and once when they are going back up. In round two, he has to get two cuts in, round three requires three and so on. When it reaches the point where he can't hit me much faster (usually round 15 or 20 or so), he announces that its time to play Advanced Panties Up, Panties Down. In this version, Panties Down means pull them down to the ankles and stay down...until he gets tired of cropping me. There is uusually a little wait and then he orders Panties Up, which, upon hearing, I must stand up straight sans panties, bend back down, grab the panties and pull them back up. I personally think that Advanced Panties Up, Panties Down is cheating on Donald's part, but unfortunately, we do not have a Complaint Department in our household.

9. Finally, there are dozens of little things, trifles, nothings, that can be intensely humiliating. You're in a public hallway somewhere, talking to your master on a payphone, and he suddenly orders you to rub your buttocks up and down against the wall as you talk to him. Maybe he also orders you to meow like a cat in heat as you do this. You're at a play party and you're ordered to untie his shoes and remove his socks with your teeth, then lick and suck his toes in the most enthusiastic manner. Or, you're eating out at a restaurant, and he insists upon feeding you (and consider yourself lucky if he uses a fork and not his hand). You're at a play or a baseball game or another restaurant and you are suddenly ordered to lick his palm until told to stop. Even being forced to stand up in front of the table at a restaurant for an indefinite amount of time can be quite embarrassing. Everyone starts to stare at you if it goes on long enough, and you still aren't allowed to sit down. Having something done to you while you're standing there is worse, however. Remember the scene from The Image? If you travel, you may be ordered to spank yourself in one of the airplane or bus toilets. Those rooms have remarkable acoustics and usually there are people waiting in line outside or stewardesses hanging around outside them. How about having your panties pulled down and being spanked in a semi-private place at a public park, at a bench with a curving path around which someone could come jogging at any time? How about being forced to ride nude in the passenger seat of his car at night and to just sit there and _endure_ when he pulls into the brightly lit full-service island of a gas station (if he's merciful, maybe he'll pull into the self-serve--g).

There are an endless variety of ways to humiliate a person, but it's up to you and your dominant to find the ones that work for you. I've laid out some of the more classic techniques in this message, but these are simply jumping-off places. Maybe one or another of them will lead you to some interesting ideas. You can get ideas from almost anywhere, in fact, here's one from TV: Remember the old British Sci-Fi series Dr. Who? One of the actresses in that series was a very pretty woman named Lalla Ward, the 4th Doctor's companion. She had an interesting bit of business that she would do. Almost every time she sat down someplace, she'd immediately get back up out of her seat, but just partially, she wouldn't stand erect. While in this sort of half-rising position (which, by the way, makes the buttocks stick out rather nicely) she'd cross her wrists with hands splayed back and forth over her thighs: in-out, very quickly, and then she'd sit back down. She'd do this so fast and so naturally, that you really had to be watching closely to catch it. Just a bit of actor's business, but imagine if your dominant ordered you to perform that series of actions every time _you_ sat down. Every time you sat down in class, or at your desk at work, or in a movie theater, or on the toilet, you'd accompany the action by rising halfway up, and doing this little criss-cross motion with your arms over your thighs before you sat back down. Having to do it once or twice wouldn't be a big deal, but having to do it nonstop would make you intensely aware of the movements and intensely conscious of whether other people were noticing what you were doing. Inevitably, some of them would .

Humiliation is a very powerful thing. I have purposely tried to present some extreme examples here to get people's imaginations working . If you have never done humiliation scenes before, go very slowly and use milder variations of the stuff I've presented here. Physical humiliation can often cause a sub who has abuse in his or her background to experience a flashback. If that happens, stop the scene, comfort the sub, and especially, reassure them that you still love and admire and _respect_ them. It can take a long time for a sub with an abuse background to build up a tolerance for and appreciation of humiliation. Some of my first few experiences with it were horrendous, as they managed to push some big buttons I had. So take it slow and easy and back off at the least sign that the sub is having trouble. (Often a sub will get unusually quiet and stiff and seem completely disassociated from what is going on when humiliation or some other event in a scene has caused her to flash back.)