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WARNING! The text below contains spoilers for The Slave, an S&M novel by Sara Adamson. If you haven't read this book and don't want to know a lot of the gory details now, please don't read this message or the one that preceded it (Part 1) in this thread.

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[Part 2 of 2]

In my opinion, in a power context, that unwillingness to out oneself should either be sympathetically respected and the matter dropped, or it should be ignored, and a straightforward order to out oneself given (it all depends on the desires of the dominant), but Chris chooses the snide, passive-aggressive middle ground. He's already made up his mind that Robin is a dishonest little cuss, that she hides everything from everyone, so no matter what she does, it all comes down to her inherent dishonesty. Of course, Robin responds predictably with more put-downs of herself: "Of all the stupid, dumb-ass things to do! Why can't I watch my mouth? Why can't I concentrate? Stupid, stupid! You have to watch yourself, girl, or he's right. You're back on the streets--" (page 43). So in other words, one kind of dishonesty, hiding your natural spontaneous creative reactions to people and events, is fully encouraged by the Marketplace and its trainers, while other forms of dishonesty (not clearly realizing your own motives; dishonesty for self-preservation, i.e., hiding illegal or morally unacceptable sexual preferences from a potentially hostile family) are sneered at. What interesting lessons Robin is learning! Slaves shouldn't lie, unless, of course, it's the right kind of lie.

Again, in my experience an intense longterm D&S relationship builds both partners up; it doesn't tear one of them down or reinforce their insecurities about themselves. If you are in the latter type of relationship, and if you are the one being torn down, know that you deserve something better, whether from your current partner or another, and try at least to get the destruction to stop.

What disturbs me about seeing such interactions in SM fiction is that some people will read them and think that this emotional horror is what SM is all about: the dominant partner ripping the ego of the submissive partner to shreds (it's only verbal abuse, after all, and isn't it HOT?). In a very few controlled (and short-term) situations such ego ripping or deconstruction might be necessary (say, if a slave suffers from overweaning hubris, pride, and narcissism so intense that they are interfering with his ability to see and deal with reality), but most submissives are like Robin. They tend to be too hard on themselves to begin with, and they need the opposite if they are to become healthy, exciting, and fully productive slaves. People new to the SM Scene think that the fiction they find is the Scene. People who Story of O look, sadly enough, for a dominant like Sir Steven. People who read the Gor SM science fiction series sometimes believe that women are inferior in all ways to men. (Yes, really! I've met a few such confused, impressionable types.) People who read The Slave might find it so hot in other aspects that they idealize Chris's and Robin's relationship, thinking that this verbal abuse is the sort of shit they'll be expected to dish out or accept when they do real S&M with a partner, since, quite obviously, this is how everybody in "The Scene" does it.

Some of my disagreement with this novel has to do with my personal needs and preferences, with the way I like to experience power exchange. I'm going to try not to give anything away here, but the high point that the book seemed to be building toward--Robin's sale on the auction block--came as a crashing surprise to me . I must say, the author is very successful at leading my expectations one way and then boom! boom! ohmygod! what do we have here? Actually, the auction sale is one of the funniest moments of the book, and despite my personal aversion to experiencing it, I must admit that it seemed jarringly authentic. If there were real slave auctions run by a real business entity, outcomes like Robin's would be the rule, not the exception, I am certain. And that's why I don't think something like the Marketplace could work in real life: most people, no matter how well trained, would not make the best of being bought by strangers who do not love them and may not even be interested in them sexually. I suspect that most submissives, when placed in such an arid emotional-erotic climate, would run. There would be nothing to sustain the power dynamic if the slave did not feel a certain amount of connection with his or her owner.

The Gor books have scenarios like this, too: women who are, because of their gender, forced into slavery, but because of their age, appearance, or physical handicaps (such the hamstringing routinely done to Gorean slaves who try to run away) or other reasons aren't up to the higher standards demanded of sex slaves. These women are the drudges of society: they work in the laundries or the mills, doing all the hard physical labor, they are impregnated in order to breed children, but never once do they get to experience the sexual thrills that submissives live for. They experience all the horrors and hell of slavery as the thrills of erotic power exchange are only for the beautiful, young, healthy babes. (Imagine what it would be like if every woman had to look like a baywatch bimbo in order get any sexual attention at all, even from the stupidist and most unattractive of men. That's the male-adolescent wet-dream world of Gor in a nutshell. Sounds like a load of fun, doesn't it girls?) Unlike the women of Gor, Robin and other Marketplace slaves originally had a choice. So how or why could they sign themselves over to an impartial system that cared nothing about their future happiness or satifaction? Methinks the Marketplace is a sucker's bet which draws the truly self-destructive submissives like flies to a cowpie. By the time I reached the auction scene in the book, however, I'm afraid I had gotten a bit uncharitable toward poor Robin. I just thought, "Good! Anyone that agressively dumb deserves her fate!"

I've spent most of my time on the beginning of the book, but the themes I've pointed out there--Robin's stupidity, her low self-esteem (which is reinforced by her trainer), her lack of any special gifts or talents (besides desire for slavery) that would make her stand out as exceptional, her willingness to suppress her personality and conform to what a slave supposedly should be like (which is also reinforced by her trainer) instead of becoming more fully herself--are repeated throughout the book. I'll be glad to dig out more incidents if you need more proof....but give me a week (no, with my work schedule, better make it a month) or two . I want to mention several more unrealistic incidents before I sign off, however, and also to discuss a few areas of the novel that struck me as surprisingly realistic.

First, the unrealistic scenes. Near the end of the book (chapters 20 and 21), Robin is beaten to a pulp by her owner for something she didn't do. Later, when her owner finds out that he punished the wrong culprit, he, of course (as Chris explains to Robin), cannot be expected to apologize. In the Marketplace, being a dominant or owner of slaves apparently means never having to say you're sorry or admitting to any wrongdoing. In a bizarre sense this is the most realistic feature of the book, as in a real slavery (like that of the American South a few hundred years ago), of course, a real owner of slaves would not be expected to apologize for accidentally beating the wrong chattel. But, in these types of situations, I really want to know, as I asked in the previous message, what's in it for the slaves? Why would anyone stay in a situation like that? Why does Robin return to her owners, knowing they will never apologize? Do you really need to be beaten unjustly and within an inch of your life and then not apologized to later in order to feel properly owned? Maybe some submissives really do need such a sledgehammer approach to drill the fact of their slavery into them, but I also would expect that many slaves are receptive to less-crude stimuli. In Robin's case, I suspect it is the old low self-esteem at work again. She doesn't think she'll find or deserve anything better. I doubt if her real reason for returning to such a despicable situation was her (asserted) pride in finishing up her contract.

The most unrealistic aspect of this whole situation is that all the strongly dominant people I have known have also had a large measure of self-confidence and sense of security. For a person with a healthy ego, a person who really likes himself or herself, apologizing for a mistake made is no big deal, no skin off your back. Only an insecure, inexperienced, or wannabe dominant who thinks he has to be a paragon of dignity and aloofness, a carbon-copy of Sir Steven, in order to be accepted by submissives and obeyed by them would find apologizing difficult. And, although predictable, it made me angry that Robin would be willing to put up with such a low quality of dominant and not search out something better for herself when she had a free and clear opportunity to opt out of that unsavory situation. In the end, she lost her nerve; her courage (one of the few things she had going for her) failed her; and she convinced herself, sour-grapes-wise, that she'd only find a worse situation if she were to be re-sold.

Uh-uh. No. Don't be as dumb as Robin. Yes, it all worked out well for her in the end, but that was pure happenstance: the right person showed up at the right time, as they so conveniently do in novels. If you aren't getting what you need from a D&S relationship, if it truly isn't making you happy or fulfilling you, don't ever tell yourself that this is all you deserve or that you won't find anything better, be you dom or sub. Either work very hard to fix the situation so that it works for both of you, or get yourself out, within the terms of the original agreement (if your life or the lives of those you love aren't in danger and if honoring the letter and idea of slavery means a lot to you) or in flagrant disobedience of the original agreement (if you or anyone you love is in danger of genuine harm).

Toward the middle of the book, in Chapter 14, specifically, there are some scenes of severity that border on the brutal. I don't object so much to the physical severity of the acts but rather to Chris's actions (or lack thereof) amidst all that physical cruelty. Robin is obviously very confused about all of this severity and coping with it inadequately: repeating silly little affirmations to herself like "I am patience" as if they were magic mantras, feeling immense amounts of confusion, and arising from that, self-pity. But instead of cluing her in, instead of explaining to her what each specific discipline is for and why it is necessary (and thus giving her the opportunity to become a willing and enthusiastic co-conspirator in her training), Chris punishes her for inappropriately coping and takes the punishment to the point where she nearly becomes sick. Real smart Chris. Don't explain what you're doing; don't engage a slave's natural desire and willingness to serve; just punish her more for having the temerity to be confused.

Chris claims that this incident (in which he kept the windows of the apartment open wide in a New York autumn with no heat on; made her bathe, shampoo, and enema every day in cold water; gave her no coffee or hot liquids of any sort to the point where she, in a much weakened physical state, had to beg pathetically for a change, not for her comfort but for her heath) should have taught her "...that punishments may be difficult and unpleasant without leaving you with a single comforting thought or sensation." (page 256). What, exactly, is the point of that lesson? Why should punishments be that way--what does either party to a power exchange get out of such a situation besides the obvious hurt, misunderstanding, and distrust?

The answer to this is, in real life, usually "nothing." The thought of such extensive cruelty can be hot to read about, but such prolonged punishment seldom works out in reality, especially if the slave has done nothing more than to be herself (Robin's big crime, which brought on the cold treatment, was to cry herself to sleep and wake up bleary-eyed and exhausted, thus making herself "unavailable" to her master). Look at what is going on here: in the first place, Robin had not done anything wrong except to respond to the confusion over the severity and emotional coldness of her treatment (she spent the night sobbing). As a result, she goes for days without heat of any kind while being severely disciplined and exercised to the point of exhaustion. Sure, she is owned, and sure, anything can happen to someone who is owned, but realistically speaking, folks, quite often what a submissive in a power relationship seeks out is a certain element of humanity in the one who has such power over her, an ability to be compassionate, and even (gasp!) amazingly generous at times. In other words, all the qualities of a loving god, which the dominant in a master-slave relationship is, in a very limited sense: that of power. Instead of such compassion and humanity, the Marketplace trains its slaves for situations that are completely unrewarding extrinsically and intrinsically: no sexual thrills from a punishment, no pleasure at serving someone you like and respect, and the requirement of long periods of physical hardship with no rewards during or after.

Again I ask, what's the point? If I want to experience extremes of deprivation or to test my endurance, I can do something like climb a mountain--no need to get involved in a slave relationship with another person. In fact the impersonality of the mountain assures that there will be no hurt feelings, even if I wind up with a broken back at the bottom of a crevice. If I want a situation that involves no sexual thrills, I'll get a job as a housekeeper or gardener or other drudge to someone who isn't erotically attracted to me, where I can work to my heart's content without a single hope of sexual attention from my employer. And if the incredibly important matter of who owns me is to be decvided by the luck of the draw, and if I don't mind serving absolutely whichever random individual is willing to pay the most money for me, then, instead of going through all this elaborate training-auction rigamarole, I might as well just mosey on down to the nearest SM club or play-party and give myself away to the fifth person who walks in the door. My chances of being happy with the result, I expect, will be as high as they are on the Marketplace's auction block.

People who read this long critique might think that I didn't like The Slave, but that isn't the case at all. I enjoyed it immensely, devoured it in every spare moment I could allow myself to read, in fact, and have already strongly recommended that several friends of mine read it. But I wanted to comment on which aspects of the book I found unrealistic. Now I want to say more about what I thought was real in the book, because this book was, of all published S&M fiction I have read, the most realistic. The realism doesn't just come from the story being set in modern times and recognizably real places, but from the fact that much of the minutia, the micro-interactions between people, have that ring of truth to them. They feel right. They fit well with experiences I have had; the feelings and the thoughts are quite recognizable.

These things I can pick out from the text and quote, or at least describe, because they don't have to do with an overall feel but with specific, realistic incidents. A scene on page 178, for instance, Robin is being beaten so badly that the tears run down her face. Then suddenly boom! The scene is over, Chris and his guests go back to ordinary conversation as if nothing had happened, and she is sent to the kitchen to do slave's work. The way Robin, in her typically simplistic way, perceives this is: "Either you're invisible and ignored, or you're the center of attention. And there's no middle ground." Well, while there often is a middle ground (as even Robin discovers when her slave duties for her first owner require her to make decisions and to act somewhat intelligently), you will find this pattern of intense play and attention intermixed with mundane service in which you aren't paid much attention to be a common pattern in longterm power exchanges. Initially, being ignored can wound a sensitive ego, but after enough time, when you discover that your owner doesn't suddenly hate you when she or he ignores you, such experiences lose their sting.

Master or Mistress wants something from you, and you must must interrupt whatever you are doing to serve them. Then, just as suddenly, the fun is over (your owner, not you, decides when it ends), and you must suddenly reorient your mind to what you were doing before, whatever that was, and reorient your ego to not being the center of attention any more. Robin concludes in the kitchen: "It was so difficult. And so wonderful." What isn't said, because Robin's too new at this to know, is that it stops being difficult after a while. The abrupt changes become normal, if not routine, and you learn, after long practice, how to switch mental gears quickly and efficiently when required to do so.

Occasionally, in a real relationship, if such switching of mental modes is demanded during a time when the submissive is doing something that she really likes or that her ego is bound up with, a problem can develop, which will have to be slowly dissolved by the dominant. If you try quickly to crush a slave's attraction for something he feels is an essential part of himself, you can end up with a resentful, hurt, or lying slave. The idea isn't to separate slaves from everything they love--such treatment would be inhumane--but to orient the slave to the reality that though she loves this particular thing, her owner's needs always come first.

On pages 110-11 Robin is collared. It is a serious moment, rich with meaning, as it tends to be in real life. In absolute dominant-submissive relationships, such an event is taken very seriously. A collar, in such a relationship, is not a piece of jewelry you wear to look cool or to signal your interest in the Scene. You wear it as a sign of ownership.

The scenes with Rachel (they come right after the collaring) are absolutely delightful and--I know since I have played with dominants of both sexes--have that characteristically intimate feel of female-on-female S&M. Ms. Adamson is very good at conveying the difference in topping styles between Rachel and Chris. There's lots of pain and a rather interesting sort of cruelty that women seem capable of inflicting on other women, but also lots of intimacy and laughing. Rachel seems warmly interested in Robin in a way that Chris isn't (or will not show). At Stonewall I attended a few parties, and this almost-hypnotic feeling of warmth, relaxation, and intense intimacy was present at the women's events while almost entirely missing from the hetero events. This held true despite the fact that the women's events had about 10 times the number of people attending them (which you would think might have led to less intimacy, not more). I'm not exactly sure why this was. Maybe the opposite sexes make each other nervous , but the tone at the women's events was unmistakably warmer. And I've never experienced it so intensely at a mixed-sex event. While not all of this difference is a matter of male style vs. female style, you can bet that some of it is, and those sub women who are curious about what a female-on-female encounter might feel like could do a lot worse than to read the "Rachel" passages.

Chris, the most complex and enigmatic character in the Marketplace books, is in at least one sense a very realistic depiction. He represents a rather rare process that occurs in longterm absolute one-way power-exchange which is working well: the submissive tends to grow and expand his or her skills, knowledge, and confidence to the point where, compared to his peers, he seems almost amazingly competent. Chris is highly regarded within the Marketplace and, my personal opinion notwithstanding , is considered to be one of the best trainers they have. He could be, if he weren't such an ignorant bastard, an excellent example of what can be achieved in slavery: a highly competent and skilled individual who is, to everyone except his owners and those his owners delegate, the one who is usually running things and running them well, a super-achiever, a superbly trained servant. Sometimes submission to the right dominant will give to a once-insecure, self-effacing, shy, incompetent person an intense sense of herself and her place in the world. This confidence and inner sureness cannot be masked from others and often expresses itself in high achievement. I am not saying, however, that such newly-developed confidence leads to the slave becomming capable of switching or domming others. More often, the submissive just becomes more him- or herself, whatever that self is, and for deeply submissive people, this doesn't usually involve turning switch.

Finally, may I present you with what are, in my humble perception, the most realistic lines in the entire novel:

"How pathetic, she railed at herself. Spend your whole fucking life wanting something spectacular and special, give up everything every normal person wants and gets, and then come down to the simple answer that all you want is someone to love. What a fucking mess!" (page 400)

Of course, Robin does not see (not being the brightest bulb on the ceiling) that the truth lies somewhere between and around those extremes and that perhaps both can be had, and always could be had, if you consider it a normal possibility and not some remote goal, achievable only within a fantasy organization like the Marketplace. You don't need a Marketplace to find the dominant of your dreams: someone who will both love and control you. All you need are the patience to wait for as long as it will take and a willingness not to settle for anything that doesn't meet your deepest desires. And then, with a little bit of luck (and a minimum of intelligent discrimination), you, unlike our poor Robin who was willing to settle for anything on two legs that screamed, "Kneel, Cunt", won't ever find yourself in a "fucking mess" of your own creation.