Among other extremely nice things which I don't deserve (except...now that Mr. Cadivec has honored me in a poem, maybe I do deserve them!--g), Peter McDermott said about the ending of my post, where I talk about how I will probably have to "pay my dues" for leading such a lucky and happy life if I ever have to seek out another partner:

>>> Somehow, I very much doubt that somebody as honest, brave and insightful as the author of this post would have to pay very much. <<<

Thank you very much for praising my personal qualities, but the problem, you see, lies with the fact that my collars seldom lock, therefore all prospective dominants who have read the required literature will be extremely wary of me. I don't stand a chance on the auction block! (very, very, very large glare at Jay Wiseman, at SM101--page 176, and a sly wink at all the "true submissive" conversations on ASB--and all at the same time! [boy, is my eye tired now!])

Seriously, locking collar or no, what I'd be looking for in a potential relationship is rare enough that I have significant doubts that I'd find it. Honesty, bravery, or insightfulness are extremely valuable once you're in a relationship, but, on the surface, they often seem to work to defeat rather than help you when you're looking: the honesty doesn't allow you to settle for second best in your own mind, bravery doesn't allow you to settle for second best with a potential partner, and insightfulness lets you tell the difference between what you're looking for and, to use the topical term, the "enticing fake." I envision a future without Donald as years, perhaps decades, of loneliness sprinkled with occasional tawdry incidents of disappointment and betrayal. Perhaps this is an unnecessarily dark view, but nothing I see around me in the people doing SM makes me think any different. There are very few people out there doing or actively looking for the degree of power exchange which I need for happiness: all the ones I know of, in fact, are already in intensely fulfilling relationships that look like they'll last till hell freezes over. And there seem to be a disproportionate number of people out there who are quite willing to tell you they're what you're looking for, even when they are nowhere close. I think I've had enough experience with the good and the bad that life offers to know that I've got my happiness, my reward, my once-in-a-million chance right now. It's pseudonym is Donald.